So...Kiana spent the night last night. It was fun. She didn't feel all that great, so I took care of her. I made her warm drinks and anything she wanted. We watched the Breakfast Club. She wanted to see it and it's one of my favorite movies.

So anyways, this morning didn't go all that great. I woke up and Kiana was still sleeping and my parents were in the dining room. I was filled in on the latest financial issues. Apparently on Wednesday, we had $400 stolen out of our bank account. Then again last night, we had $1850 stolen. What a great way to start off Christmas, right?

So besides that, I found out that Alex can in fact, go to Rock 'N Bowl tonight with me and my friends. He's gunna pick me up and we are going to go together. I really like him so I'm hoping something happens. He doesn't really like his girlfriend, and he knows how much I like him...so I'm hoping. I'm so excited though. I have so many things I am going to do to prepare for tonight after I log off, haha. I'm going to...

1.) Take a shower.
2.) Style hair, possibly curl it.
3.) Spray AXE. Haha...I love the smell of that stuff.
4.) Get dressed.
5.) Make-up.

Hehe. I'm gunna wear these jeans that fit me basically perfectly. My new TOOL shirt, because he also likes the band, obviously. Black eyeliner. I'm gunna experiment with eyeshadow, and then I'm going to wear Twizzler flavor lip gloss. Haha. I'm uber excited. OH! I'm also gunna wear these earings that light up! Haha. It's going to be amazing. I'll tell you how it went tomorrow when I get back on. OMG!!!!! CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!

So, I'm supposed to be going to the mall with my mom in like...the next couple of minutes to get this shirt that I want.
She was supposed to get me this Christmas present early but she decided not to. It was a white hoodie with Nintendo characters on it. I wanted it so bad today. And this weekend I'm going to Rock 'N Bowl with a whole bunch of friends for one of my friend's birthday. So I wanted something new and different to wear. So my mom is taking me to get a shirt of one of my new favorite bands, Tool. My unbiological big brother (crush, big time), Alex, got me into them, along with his friend Sipes, who I also have a crush on, haha. So confusing, I know.

But I'm about to go get the shirt. Kiana is spending the night tomorrow night. I told her I wanted to show her our marching band DVD of the season, so she's coming over to watch it. XD

I also talked to Alex about Jess today. I told him that she was being a bitch to me, and he said he knew. Then I pointed out that I didn't even do anything to her, and he said he knew. And then I told him that he isn't her property, that I was his friend first, and that just because me and him have a close bond doesn't mean she has to break it and be mean to me. He said he knew. Then I also pointed out that I've been backing up. I don't come up to him anymore when she's around. He said he noticed and apologized and he was already trying to fix it, and he'd keep working on it. I love Alex. Alrighty, well I'm gunna go harass my mom to get in the car. Toodles!

Oh my gosh, I wanna punch her in the fuckin' face right now.

"Keep your hands off of him, Ciara." Okay. You know he's basically best friends with me? I mean, we do call each other brother and sister. I'll hug him and push him all the fuck I want.

"He's mine, remember that." Okay, he doesn't even like you that much. Ask Mackenzie. He tells her everything. According to him, it's just a "fling". Oh, and remember, you've only been going out for like a week. Since when does that make him now or even ever your property? Bitch, please.

"I just went to the mall and saw my ex-boyfriend. We hung out and he gave me a hug and now I smell like him. Help." Bitch, you think I'm gunna help you after all the shit you are trying to pull? Yeah, whatever.

I don't know if she understands this, but she's like two feet shorter than I am. If she thinks I'm gunna be scared of a little girl who thinks fighting is biting, pinching, or pulling hair, think again. Karate for 5 years over here. Not scared.

I don't care if she's in JROTC. I don't care if she has abs. Just because you work out doesn't mean you know anything about fighting. I wanna punch her in the fuckin' face so hard, you have no idea.

She just need to get the fuck over herself...seriously.
Nobody is scared of her, attitude or not.
An attitude doesn't make you tough. It just makes you a bitch who everyone eventually will begin to hate.

Alright....

The Intricacy of one's feelings....

Have you ever just sat there and said to yourself, "Wow. This would be a really good time to have a boyfriend." Or....

Have you ever hung out with nothing but couples..and it seems that even though they don't try to, and you know it's unintentional, doesn't it seem like they are rubbing their love in your face?

My ex-boyfriend is currently sitting in front of me. I guess you could call us "friends". I'm really hoping he was serious a few months ago when he wrote me that note saying he doesn't hate me and he wanted to move forward and be friends...

Should I have trusted him? As I sit here, literally staring at the back of his head while typing, I can't help but wonder.. "Is there still any possible feeling of love for me still in his head? We've been through so much. I don't see how a love like ours could just simply fade away in a year." I mean, doesn't that make sense? Our relationship was one of the strongest I've ever felt, and I don't see how anything like that could just fade away...in a year. I mean, I know a year seems like a really long time, but in reality...it's not. I feel like just yesterday me and Christian broke up at homecoming....

It was a couple months ago that Christian wrote to me in a note during Driver's Ed:

"I don't hate you anymore. I see it as more of a funny thing to laugh at now. You aren't a bad person, just did something wrong. Okay, several things wrong. But with all contengencies aside, I'm done being mad at you."

Ever since then, we've been somewhat civil towards eachother...
More like friends, if you ask me.

I still don't get him, though. He teases me all the time. It's like, he either has hidden feelings still locked up in that brilliant mind of his, or it's just a game to him. I'd like to go with the game, but I have no idea what to honestly think.